Friday, November 30, 2007

Old Game, New Fun

We finally finished our first Story of the World book. We learned about the last Roman emperor who was only 6 years old. We went through the work book choosing our last few activities and maps to work on. We've got one final "test/review" map to do which is completely blank. They'll label all the continents we've discussed and the various countries around the mediterranean sea.

As a last fun activity about the Romans, I took the girls outside and showed them how to play an ancient Roman game. It was one of the activities in the workbook. I had Gloria lay on the ground with her arms and legs splayed as far as she could reach. Then we drew a circle around her and a second circle around that one. You can see I didn't get it perfect, but it worked for the purpose of the game. They had to bounce the ball into the center circle and try not to let the other person catch it. There are some other rules, but that's the basic idea. They both loved it and each of them won one game. Finally we can move on to Volume 2: The Middle Ages!

Cubby Award Night

Wednesday night Latte received her Cubby Bear Book for completing the introductory booklet. She learned a few short verses and the Cubby Motto. Now she can work on catching up to the rest of her class who have been learning one verse a week together for the past 10 weeks.

She was so thrilled to have her name called and go up to the front to get her book. She kept jumping up and heading toward the front after each kid was called. She was just too excited to wait. She's doing really well in her class. We are very proud of her!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Gloria's New Friend

Gloria informed us tonight that Hannah is her favorite friend in her AWANA Sparks group. She's a 1st grader who is a year older than Gloria. They both have the same silly goofy personality. Hannah has trouble seeing, so Gloria stays close to her during game time to help her out. Then Hannah waits for Gloria before going back upstairs after the bathroom and drink break.
The only time they have a little trouble is during Green Meadow time at the end of the night because they tend to whisper and talk when they should be quiet and listen to the lesson. I met Hannah's mom tonight and we agreed to arrange a play date soon for the girls. Hannah was ecstatic and so was Gloria later tonight when I told her about it. So far we haven't managed to find a friend who is available very often for Gloria to visit outside of church, so I hope this works out for her.

Snow, Glorious Snow!

It snowed unexpectedly last night and the kids had a great time playing in it this morning. It was light and powdery, so they couldn't make much of anything out of it. Kevin made handprints on the driveway.

We searched the house and managed to come up with only one pair of gloves and two single unmatched gloves. Danya ended up wearing socks on her hands for warmth. It was too cold out to stay outside long, though. The kids came in with frozen fingers, grinning ear to ear with blue lips. Latte said her hands were "cold and sweaty" so Daniel shouldn't blow on them to warm them up.

These Boots were Made for Walkin'!

Latte found my boots yesterday and had a great time walking around in them. She was so cute stomping through my bedroom and posing for pictures.

After she took them off Gloria had to try them on, too. That seems to be a recurring theme in this house. If one kid is doing something fun with Daniel or me all the others have to do it, too. For instance if I am tickling one of them each of the others will present themselves to be tickled. Or if I bounce one on my lap or toss them in the air all the other kids run over for a turn. Since the older 3 weigh between 43 and 48 lbs each my back and shoulders have been aching lately.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Friends, Food, Family Photos

After church on Sunday we all went out to Perkin's Restaurant where we had reserved the party room. We told them that we had a group of 30 people and would need the whole room. When we got there they had only set up seating for about 20 people and had another couple seated in there for no apparent reason considering that the restaurant was almost deserted.

The waitress was good though, and the couple left after a few minutes (I'm sure the 17 children surrounding them had something to do with it). So we had a good time, delicious food, and got a chance to catch up with everyone. When we were finished eating we took turns posing for family photos which Uncle Matt took on his amazing camera. Hopefully he'll email them out to everyone to possibly use for Christmas cards.

Our Own Children's Church

When we all arrived at Grandma and Grandpa's church on Sunday morning we filled up the left side of the church. It was like we'd brought our own mobile children's church. Glenda said when she saw us over there she decided to keep her kids on the opposite side of the room to avoid adding to the chaos already in progress.

There were 12 kids in our group, so adding Glenda's 5 would have increased the number by almost half! Thankfully, the kids were only expected to participate during praise and worship. During the actual sermon the kids went off to Sunday school classes. While we were singing there was one song where everyone sings, "La la la la" for the chorus over and over. When we finished that song Kevin started making the "again" sign and saying, "La la la la" Then he went up and down the aisle dancing, bobbing his head, and stomping on the floor vents.

Sitting next to Christina, Daniel and I felt like we were back in youth group again. The assistant pastor who was giving the sermon was our former youth group leader and he made a comment about seeing us all back again, too. It was too bad that Ben and Steven couldn't have been there. Steven is in Washington getting ready to be deployed. Ben and his family left for home Saturday morning so that he could get back in time to help out at his church in Del Rio, TX. But Glenda and Robin, who were also in the youth group were both there, so there were quite a few of us.

Extended - Extended Family

Saturday night we went over to the Haley's house up on "Haley Hill" to visit more with Christina and her kids, and also to see her in-laws, the Haley's. Daniel practically grew up with their family. Whenever he wasn't at his own home he was here with his best friend Steven's family.

We played with Steven's little sister's kids and got to meet her newest little one, four month old Abby. Her older daughter, Kyla, even let me play "This Little Piggy" with her. We brought pizza with us and all the kids ate and then ran around together playing with the endless supply of toys they have there. When we left Danya asked if Don, Uncle Steven's dad, is her grandpa, too. We hadn't told her that he was, but now we explained that he is kind of her grandpa because Don and Bobbie are like "second parents" to her Daddy. She said, "We sure do have a LOT of grandparents!" I told her that she is very blessed.


Since Pilgrims came here for religious freedom and started the Thanksgiving tradition by thanking God I think I'll list a few things I'm thankful for, too.

I'm thankful:
1. For the freedom to not only worship and believe as I choose, but also the freedom to express my beliefs and opinions to others without fear
2. That my children are growing daily in the nurture and admonition of the Lord
3. For the freedom and ability to provide for our family financially
4. For the freedom to teach our children at home in the way we believe is right
5. That Jesus is the Lord of our lives and is directing our paths

Pilgrims and Indians

Aunt Christina's mom made these adorable little costumes for our kids, Glenda's kids, and Christina's kids. We had quite a time trying to get photos of them and never did manage to get one of all of them together. The kids thought they were fun and ran around being silly in them. We took photos in the lobby of the big hotel that Christina and her kids were staying in.

While we were down there two grandmotherly looking ladies stopped and asked if they could take pictures of our kids. We laughed and told them sure, but that there was no way we'd be able to get them to stay still. I eventually sat my crew on the blue couches near the big front windows and took photos of them. These may be the all time cutest Thanksgiving photos we ever get of our kids! Thanks Christina!

Sad, but True

Sadly, Gloria disregarded the repeated warnings of her mother and grandmothers and disaster finally struck. Yes, she made an ugly face one too many times when her mom was taking her picture and her face did indeed get "stuck that way". We'll love her just the same, but let this be a warning to other kids out there when their poor moms just want to take a nice photo of them.

Family Trivia Game

This year for Christmas, since we were very low on funds and using everything we had for this trip to Oklahoma, we needed a good group gift idea for very little cost.

So we used a blank board game board that we ordered online at Bare Books to create a family trivia game. I searched through all my old picture files on my computer to find individual photos of all of our family members (on Daniel's side of the family), and then we printed them at Sam's in wallet sizes. At Sam's you get two wallets for 17 cents.

Then I called Daniel's family to ask them a bunch of questions. I typed them up in question and answer form and printed them on the cards that came with the game board kit. Then we decorated the board with a different family's photos down each side. The game was a hit! The objective was to go around the board answering trivia questions until you collected one face card (another wallet size photo) of someone from each family. After we played, the Maxwells spent the evening thinking up new questions to make more cards. This is a great game because it will grow as our family grows.

Spreading Infection

What's that term for the very first person to carry an infectious disease? "Patient Zero" or something like that? This past week it was my niece, Shalom, who showed up sick at Thanksgiving. She felt terrible and was running a fever. Then our girls came down with it. Their cousin Meridian was sick by Saturday and didn't go to church the next day.

Today Aunt Christina called and said that her son has it, too. Daniel just got back from taking the kids to the doctor and it's official: strep throat. So I'm guessing that all the kids that our kids were in contact with last week will be passing it around this week. Our girls have to be on antibiotics for 24 hours before being around anyone else, so if they take their meds right now they should be okay to go to AWANAs tomorrow night.

The bigger question is whether or not Daniel and I will come down with it, too. Because then I could wipe out the entire praise band tomorrow night at practice just in time for next week's concert. And if some of them spread it to the choir... I guess depending on how we're feeling tomorrow we'll decide if we should skip church tomorrow night.

The End of an Age

I finally said goodbye to my 20's. This weekend we made a giant chocolate chip cookie cake to celebrate. We forgot to get candles, though, and Grandma didn't have any, so we used a big scented candle instead. Daniel gave me some clear acrylic stamps I'd been wanting and we went out for a date Sunday night while the kids baked cookies with Grandma. In recognition of turning 30 here are 15 things I'm happy about and 15 things I'd like to change:

Good Stuff:
1. I've lost a lot of weight
2. I love being a homeschooling mom
3. We are not drowning in debt anymore
4. I will soon need to buy a whole new wardrobe of "skinny clothes"
5. I reached my goal of being done with "child bearing" before turning 30
6. We are finally living our original dream of fostering and adopting
7. I'm playing my trombone again!
8. Daniel and I are still madly in love
9. My children love God and each other
10. The older I get, the better wife/mother I become
11. My favorite authors keep publishing new books
12. We've found an excellent Sunday school class with great people in it
13. Our neighborhood and new home are a perfect fit for us
14. Our foster daughter seems like she has always been part of our family
15. I enjoy being involved in our church band and AWANA program

Could Be Improved: 1. I'm not yet at my goal weight, 2. I'm unhappy with my hair & teeth, 3. I wish I had a closer relationship with my family, 4. Our car seems to be slowly disintegrating, 5. My schedule has gotten out of whack lately, 6. I wish I had a really good friend living nearby, 7. There's never enough time to accomplish everything, 8. My hearing aide is broken, 9. I'd like a better trombone, 10. I need to develop patience, 11. Too often, I speak before I think, 12. Our families live too far away, 13. I miss Curly Top and The King, 14. Daniel and the kids are all sick, 15. I worry too much

Speaking of 30, wouldn't it be great to have... 30 minutes to yourself every day? 30 people who you know pray for you often?, 30 hours of holiday bonus pay?, 30 friends send you a Christmas card?, 30 pieces of calorie free chocolate?, 30 days notice before the next major emergency?, 30 unsolicited compliments in the next 30 days?, 30 seconds in the bathroom without kids knocking on the door?

Christmas Carols

This year I brought my trombone with me to practice while we were visiting family. Besides my Christmas concert music I also brought a book full of Christmas carols for trombone that my fellow tbone player gave me about a month ago.

Thanksgiving night I pulled it all out and played along with the CD while the kids gathered around and sang. The music had the words to the carols on it. This is the music I use for sight reading practice, so I wasn't exactly all that great, but we all had fun anyway.

The kids were singing and some were dancing. Even Aunt Robin got up and danced with Danya! What was really truly shocking, though, was when Judah, my very cool and aloof almost-13-year-old nephew, decided to join in to sing Silent Night. That was our final song of the evening, and it was perfect.

Oh, Tiny Tree

Every year on after the Thanksgiving meal we set up the Christmas tree at Grandma and Grandpa's house. It's a family tradition. When we attempted to set up our tree at home before leaving for vacation we couldn't find our box of ornaments. They got misplaced somehow in the move to our new home. The kids were disappointed but we reassured them that they'd get to help hang ornaments on Grandma's tree.

But it wasn't meant to be. For some reason Grandma and Grandpa decided to skip the big tree this year and instead just put up the dinky little thing you can see in the background of this photo of Robin and 3 of her kids. It just doesn't feel like Christmas time now. We have no photos of kids wrapped in garlands. There were no homemade ornaments or paper chains. Someone made popcorn while we were there, but can you believe they actually ATE IT instead of stringing it?! Oh, the inhumanity of it all!!

There's no help for it, I guess. We'll just have to buy some new ornaments. Ones that have no special meaning behind them like our missing ones do. It's just so sad that we won't be trimming the tree with all the cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents this year. Maybe next year we can all work together to sneak a tree into Grandma's house?

What Makes an Aunt?

This is Aunt Claire and her son Drew. They came over to visit on Friday night since they were in town visiting her family. She's also expecting baby number 2 in a couple of months. She likes to be surprised, so we won't know if it's a girl or a boy until then.

My girls have asked me how she is their Aunt since she isn't my sister or Daniel's sister. I told them that sometimes you have a family friend that you love sooo much that you wish they were part of your family. In that case you can make them an honorary member of your family. That's what Aunt Claire is.

She has been Daniel's friend since they were 7 and my friend since we were teenagers. Claire was the first person to call me and try to become my friend when I started attending her church youth group. I found out later that she had been assigned my name in a new outreach program for the youth group. All I knew, though, was that this girl was suddenly calling me and inviting me to spend time with her and her friends.

Claire is amazing. When she was pregnant with Drew she rescued some friends of ours while we were away on a "Girl Vacation". We had gone floating on rafts down a river that had a stronger current than we had anticipated. Even though she was pregnant, she was the best swimmer among us. So she swam out, grabbed the rope on their raft, and pulled them to shore. Daniel and I are hoping to save up for a vacation to the Texas coast, possibly next summer. We'd like to rent a beach house near where Claire lives and spend a week there. The upside is, if we have any dangerous swimming moments at the ocean, I know Claire can save us!

Fall Couples Photo Shoot

Robin and I decided to grab our spouses and go take photos of each other at the park. We went to Little Couch Park in Stillwater where there are some really beautiful photo locations. It's also the park where Daniel and I actually met for the first time when I was 14 and he was 15.

Matt and Robin have a fantastic camera. I think it's about 10 megapixels with one of those detachable lenses. Photos taken on their camera just seem to glow they are so crisp and clear. The colors it picks up are amazing. I don't have a copy of those photos yet, so in the mean time, here are some pics taken on our camera.

The Nut doesn't fall far from the Tree

Yup, that's my family. They may be crazy, but they're mine. And this year they ALL came for Thanksgiving. That right there is reason enough to give thanks to God. On average I'm lucky if we all see each other once a year, and normally we're not all together at once. So this was wonderful!

The next morning my mom's sister, Aunt Kathy, even stopped by to visit! The only sad part is that we didn't all have more time to spend together. We are very different, but when we get together I usually laugh more than I have all year. I guess a sense of humor is definitely genetic.

Missing: One Tooth

Gloria lost her very first tooth on Thanksgiving day! She's so proud of that tooth. It means she's finally a big kid like her sister. It's one of those giant milestones signaling the coming of "teenager status" in the very near future... at least in the mind of a six year old.

Granny Jo, my mom, made Gloria's joy complete when she said that for your first lost tooth you are supposed to get $2 from every grownup. In the end she collected $6 before she even got a chance to hide her tooth under her pillow! Then my mom didn't want the other kids to feel left out so she made sure they each got a dollar, too.

Politics and Religion

This year a group of us ended up sharing a table and discussing two subjects that are typically taboo at family gatherings: politics and religion. It was interesting to say the least. At this table we had: one Christian, two atheists, two Hindus, and one Jehovah's Witness. Also there were two democrats, one republican, one that never votes, and two who can't legally vote here.

Despite all our differences we were able to share our opinions, beliefs, and ideas without any disrespect or hot tempers. I was really surprised at how well it worked out. Later that evening I also got to discuss presidential candidates with Uncle David. He loves to talk politics (he's an Independent) but doesn't often find anyone who wants to discuss it with him. He's a big Ron Paul supporter and I'm rooting for Fred Thompson and Mike Huckabee. We had quite a conversation.

Happy Thanksgiving 2007!

Happy Turkey Day everyone!
We set the timer and took a picture of the enormous group of people that joined us for Thanksgiving lunch this year. There were 31 of us with some from Tennessee, Colorado, Texas, Kansas, Mexico, and India! God is good and has blessed our family continually this year!

Judah: Basketball Hoop Star

Judah made the basketball team as a starter this year. He's the second tallest guy on his team. I believe it. Our nephew seems to have doubled in height since we saw him last.

I took these photos when he was playing in the back yard with Daniel while we waited for Thanksgiving lunch to be ready. Meanwhile Judah's Dad and siblings were playing soccer over by the volleyball court. Before that everyone was out playing touch football at the school across the street. During all this there were multiple challenge matches of ping pong, pool, and foosball going on. At Thanksgiving there is definitely no vegging in front of the television going on at Daniel's parents' house!

Daniel's New Toy

For his birthday this month Daniel's parents sent him a gift card to buy a little handheld video game he's been wanting. It has several old Atari games on it and can be hooked up and played on any t.v.

It became a running obsession amongst the kids (and Daniel) during Thanksgiving. They all took turns trying to beat each other's scores. We had it hooked up to the little monitor from our car DVD player that we use on long trips. This was Daniel's only gift for his birthday this year, and it's definitely a good one!

Making Muffins with a Mob

After 13 hours in the van we made it to Grandma and Granpa's house late Wednesday night. We let the kids stay up way too late because they were all so excited to see each other. Then bright and early Thursday morning, despite a full day of Thanksgiving cooking ahead of her, Grandma Nancy made muffins for breakfast with about 6 of her grandkids.

She is SUPER Grandma! It may be all the years working as a substitute teacher at the local school or her years of experience as a foster mom, but she certainly can organize large groups of kids without batting an eye. The kids loved baking with Grandma Nancy and the muffins were delicious.

Toe Biter

What can I say? Some kids suck their thumbs. Others bite their nails. My kid munches his toes on occasion. His sisters found this so amusing that they tried out their own toes. I'll save them the embrassment of posting those photos.

Kevin is actually fascinated with all body parts and loves to name them. He knows quite a few, but still gets mixed up on the difference between elbow, wrist, and shoulder sometimes. I'm just impressed that he can tell that "arm" means the whole thing and not just one little part, and that "leg" means the whole thing, too. Yesterday I pointed to my hair while saying, "hair" and he said, "No, head."

His new favorite activity is walking around the house and asking, "What dis?" We always try to answer him. He'll repeat the word and then move on to asking about other objects. He's just an amazing little boy.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Practice Makes... Not so bad

We're getting down to the wire for the Christmas concert. There are only 3 weeks left and I'm going to be out of town for a week. Sunday I found out that the first full rehearsal with the choir will be on my birthday next Monday. So we are going to cut our trip short and try to get back in time by making the whole approximately 12 hour drive on my birthday leaving out at 6 am and trying to arrive just in time for the 6 pm practice.

Last night I drove to my "section leader" Ron's house for some extra trombone practice. I needed his help figuring out what some of the fast tricky sections are supposed to sound like. We even managed to keep up with the music on the CD.

I realized last night that even when he says we are sounding better or makes any kind of positive statement I mentally reject it. I also realized that I react that way any time anyone gives me a compliment or says I'm doing something well. I think it's one of those hold overs from childhood. If you're told enough times that you can't do anything right then you eventually become convinced of it. It's sad because although I reject it, I also desperately crave those "pats on the back". I usually remember exactly what someone said or wrote about me and dwell on it for days. One nice compliment or word of encouragement can completely make my day. So, I'm going to try to tell that interior voice to be quiet and take encouragement with a positive attitude.

One thing is certain, I am improving on my trombone and I absolutely love playing. I get to contribute to worshiping God using the very gift He gave me. Even on Sunday mornings when I arrive exhausted and grumpy, playing in the praise band does a 180 on my mood. I can't help smiling and tapping my feet and that positive feeling carries over into the rest of the day.

Sunday Insanity

Saturday night Daniel worked and then pulled a double into Sunday. That means that I had to ask our babysitter Sarah (in this photo on the left) to come stay the night with us so that I could drive Daniel to work Saturday night. That way we had the van the next morning so we could get to church.

So I got up at about 5 am, got everyone up, dressed, and out the door by 7 am, so that I could make it to band practice by 7:30. Then I played trombone for both services while running back and forth helping Sarah get the kids to their classes and taking them for potty breaks. Unfortunately Latte didn't make it and we had to borrow a pullup from the 2 year old class because I forgot to bring an extra. I've got 300 of those things at home and didn't manage to bring even ONE!

After church we were driving to Broomfield to have lunch with Daniel at his work and I got a bit lost and missed my turn a couple of times. Then, finally some good news, Daniel got off work early and was able to leave at lunch time. So we (turned off our brains) and decided to take all the kids out to eat because we received a reimbursement check from the county. Latte learned all kinds of new rules about restaurant eating like: 1. We don't crawl around on the floor under the table, and 2. We don't burst into tears because we don't like the drink that we got.

So then we rushed home, dropped off the kids and Sarah, and drove back to church just in time for 3:30pm Christmas Concert rehearsal. Daniel took a nap in the van while I practiced. Afterwords we went to Fazoli's, just the two of us, for a belated birthday dinner for Daniel. Then we swung into Big Lots for a little Christmas shopping and to get a "Big Girl Surprise" for Latte who is doing well filling up her potty chart with stickers. Finally, Daniel drove Sarah home and we all collapsed at the end of a long crazy day. I'm tired just talking about it!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Random Q&A about Me

My sister-in-law Jennie
sent these questions to me in one of those email forwards that I never forward. Instead I thought I'd post the answers here.
What time is it? Almost my bedtime, 9:53pm
What 's your full name? Jessica Lee Elliott (but when I was baptized Catholic at the age of 12 I got to choose a saint's name as a second middle name: Bernadette. I don't use it anymore since I'm not Catholic.)
What are you most afraid of? Failing as a wife and mother, and disappointing God
What is the most recent movie that you have seen? Daniel and I watched "Ocean's 13" after the kids were in bed last Tuesday
Place of birth?A hospital, of course. Oh, and in Virginia.
Favorite food? Giant soft pretzels
What's your natural hair color? Dark brown, but I've been in denial ever since it changed from blonde when I was about 20 years old. I'm going to dye it back to brown soon.
Ever been a Neat Freak? On my good days.
Ever been skinny dipping? I plead the 5th in case my children ever read this.
Love someone so much it made you cry? Many someones
Been in a car accident? Yes, but never seriously injured and none that were my fault
Croutons or bacon bits? Neither since starting Weight Watchers
Favorite Week Any week that Daniel has vacation and can be home with us
Favorite restaurant Pizza Hut or maybe Olive Garden
Favorite Flower None...except maybe Daisies because they always make me think of Glenda
Favorite sport to watch Tennis, except during the Olympics, then I like ice skating and gymnastics
Favorite drink Pepsi One
Favorite ice cream Strawberry shakes
Warner Brothers/Disney Disney Pixar! Danya thinks that Latte looks a little bit like Boo from Monster's Inc.
Ever been on a ship? I've stood on one while it was docked
What color is your bedroom carpet? Light brown
How many times did you fail your driver's test? None, although if the tester person had realized I was the same lunatic he had passed on the road minutes before, I might have failed that time.
Favorite TV shows I don't watch t.v. anymore, but I used to like Boston Legal in it's first season
Last person you went to dinner with? Daniel, of course
Park or Zoo? Parks because they are free
What are your favorite colors? purple and blue (Glenda knows why!)
How many tattoos do you have? 12...just kidding! none
How many pets do you have? None now, but in the past I've had two dogs and two hamsters
Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken on day 5
What do you want to do before you die? See my family members become Christians (Mom, Dad, Shane, Toni, I pray for you daily! I love you and don't want to spend eternity without you!)
Have you ever been to Hawaii? No, and don't particularly care if I ever get there.
Have you been to countries outside the U.S.? Yes, to Mexico. I'd still love to go to Prince Edward Island, Canada someday to see the Anne of Green Gables locations. Also, a walking tour of Ireland would be a dream come true, but will probably never happen.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Twins...Or Not

Here's a picture of the girls that I took tonight when I noticed that for some reason they completely changed their outfits right before bedtime so that they matched.

Speaking of twins, I got a phone call this week that was heart breaking. This entire year I've looked online at a couple of adoption websites like and searching the listings of children and trying to find the "perfect" siblings group. I like to imagine them in our family and think about which rooms they'd sleep in. I've even submitted inquiries on a few different ones, but no one ever contacted me about them.

Until this week. I got a phone call from one of the sites where I had submitted our information on a group of 4 kids, ages 4 to 7 with a set of twin boys in the middle. The person calling asked if we were still interested because they were considering us as a possible match. These kids are in Colorado, but not in our county, so I had to tell her that we can't take a placement outside our county until the end of January. And with Latte, we might also be ineligible because they probably wouldn't want us to have two separate fost/adopt placements at the same time. She said that you never know, these kids might still be available then, so keep an eye on the website. What I've decided is that I have no CLUE what God has planned for me, so I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride in the meantime.