Monday, July 18, 2005
This Saturday I had a miscarriage. I'm still dealing with this so it's very difficult to write this. Today I heard a song written by my brother in law, Matt Maxwell. He wrote it for some friends of his who recently lost their 16 year old son to cancer. It was from the child's point of view. He was saying that if you knew what he knew now you wouldn't cry for him. He's standing at the throne of God and there is "no crying here." Also, he will be there to welcome his parents some day. There was more to it, but that, most of all, touched me. It made me cry, but it also reminded me that my babies are not gone, but rather in the arms of their Father in a place that is pure joy. I'm grieving because I will not get to hold them here and now, but rejoicing because I will get to hold them some day.