Tuesday, August 30, 2005
This is the third one this year. It started last night. I don't understand this. I wonder if I should just go back to preventing pregnancy for a few months to give my body time to get back to normal? Going through this every month is just tearing me up. I don't know what to do. There doesn't seem to be anything I CAN do. On this last one I didn't even feel hopeful anymore really. I don't even know how to pray anymore except to keep trusting God because I know that He has a plan and a purpose in this. I'm starting to wonder if maybe He's preparing me to accept that I may never have another baby. Daniel and I both want to adopt an older child someday, and that would get pushed off farther if I had another baby. In the meantime, we'll just keep praying and waiting for God's answer.