Tuesday, November 11, 2008

School, For Better or Worse

I'm torn about the benefits to Brother of attending pre-school. On the one hand, it's been really nice seeing him make some friends that he plays with at the bus stop. He's a little over the top when it comes to affection though, for instance running up to hug or kiss his friends. Today I watched his friend Corey push Brother away with his hands against Brother's face to keep him off. But Brother just smiles his adorable little smile and laughs as if it's all a game. He also loves to hold hands with a little girl named Nicole who's about a year younger than him.

I can also see that he really enjoys riding the bus and making crafts at school. So there are certain aspects that I see as being a positive. On the other hand, we've also seen a dramatic change in Brother's behavior since he started attending. I don't know if this is entirely due to school or if it's just that he's been at our home longer and isn't trying as hard to "be on his best behavior".

We've noticed him hitting and pushing now. He has started having lots of accidents in his pants, and not just at night. He didn't previously have a problem with it at all. We think maybe that the teacher at his school isn't understanding him when he tries to tell her that he needs to potty. So he's just giving up on it. He's started taking things without asking, like kid scissors which he is learning to use at school but isn't allowed free access to at home. In general we've just been noticing a really bad attitude that wasn't there before and he's been much rougher with Kevin. I think he may be reflecting the way he's being treated by other kids who can't understand him at school.


Luke said...

My parents found that pulling my sister from her Christian school incredibly improved her overall demeanor. This is a perfect example of how the school system can really negatively affect a child.

But all of life is choosing something at the expense of something. May you have wisdom as you weigh your options.


Kelly said...

The little boy I have had been attending a preschool. I requested that he stay at home with me. His worker agreed that would be best and he doesn't attend school anymore. I am very glad. I am really able to work with him on specific behaviors as well as preparing him for Kindergarten next year. He will attend public school but during this adjustment time we all felt it would be best for him to be at home with me. This probably isn't an option for you but I do understand your feelings on this. He would probably be best served to be at home with you. Maybe you could talk to his worker about this.

Kelly said...

The more that I have thought about this...isn't this one of the children you are adopting? If so, you should have more say in this situation. They should consider that you really need to be spending all the time possible with him bonding. Attachment and bonding is so critical with these children and at his age that should be the most important thing in their minds since you are adopting him. Also there are enough other children in your home that he will get all the social interaction that he needs if it is social development they are concerned with. I know speech was the original issue but he would get all the language help he could possibly stand staying at home with you. :) Maybe if you came up with a homeschool education plan for him they would consider letting him stay home with you.