Thursday, April 30, 2009

Letting Them Go

Snow White and Brother recently had their final visit with their dad. I use the term "final" loosely because we still aren't sure if we'll allow a yearly visit so that they can stay in touch with their half brother who I've decided to nickname "Dodger".

I call him that because while we were at McDonald's he made quite an impression on us. While the kids were in the basketball area he said, "Let's play dodgeball!" and immediately threw a ball full force into Kevin's face so hard that he knocked him down and gave him his first black eye. He hit Kevin so hard that Kevin had pain in his eye for two days and we were debating taking him to the doctor to see if there was damage to his vision. I also chose the name because he reminds me a bit of "the artful Dodger" from Oliver Twist.

It's sort of scary for Daniel and I to consider how close we are to adopting Brother and Snow White. We are really trying to grasp what it means and wrap our brains around the idea that these two will be our children forever. I've been gathering curriculum and making time management plans for our upcoming homeschooling year. We're trying to decide if Snow White should take a nap like the boys or if Brother should stop taking naps so that he can play with Snow White while I'm working with the older girls.

We're also working to get Brother evaluated for possible FAE (fetal alcohol effects) to see if that's the explanation for some of his strange behaviors. The caseworker is helping us collect records from every medical and school related place he's ever been. My main concern is that if he actually has brain damage from fetal alcohol exposure, will I really be able to give him all the help he's going to need when we constantly have a house with eight kids in it with me trying to homeschool them? And will he ever be able to live independently? At this point it's difficult to tell if he's just going to be a little behind all his life or if he'll eventually catch up, or what. It's a tough call, but we want what's best for him.


Kelly said...

You will have a big challenge homeschooling all of them but I know you will get organized and it will go smooooooth. When do you expect to finalize your adoption?

Jess said...

July 15th is the official date. We're having lots of meetings with adoption related people in the mean time. We have to agree on a subsidy (if they even approve one) and hear the official history of both parents. There's lots of little things.


I have a good life said...

You never cease to amaze me. You have the true love of the Savior and it is so evident in all you do. Each time I read your blog I am reinspired. I know you know what is most important in life. It is love and family, not money and things. I wish my DH would've been on the same page as me with that, too!