This week we had the big pre-adoptive meeting where the adoption worker tells us all about Snow White and Brother's past. We learned everything they know about the parents' history. That was a bit more than we had originally been led to believe. We were a little shocked.
Then they told us about the kids' history and where they've been. They were in a lot more foster homes than we had been told about. I feel really bad for both of them and understand Brother's confusion about relationships a lot more. The way he hugs and kisses total strangers good-bye seemed strange until we learned that he's never really had enough time in any one home to understand that his affection should be mainly reserved for close family and friends.
The next step will be the adoption subsidy agreement. Daniel says we can't move forward with that part until after we get Brother evaluated for FAE (fetal alcohol effects) since that is going to affect Brother for life and is going to make a difference on the amount of special help he needs. That may mean that we end up pushing back the adoption date which is currently set for July 15th. I really don't want that to happen so we're going to work hard on getting Brother evaluated sooner.
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We noticed the same thing when my daughter got her girls. Everyone thinks they are such sweet little girls because they always hug and kiss you hello or good bye. When in reality it is very sad. They don't have a clue about who they should trust to be there tomorrow. We call them our forever kids all the time but the youngest girl still thinks her real mom is her previous foster mother. That is who she bonded with at an important age. It is sad.
Very wise to get the testing done first.
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